If I Lived in Middle-Earth . . .

First, happy Martin Luther King Day! Today we pause to remember a man who had a dream of racial equality. He didn’t just think about that dream, he acted upon it—though it cost him his life. (For his “I Have a Dream Speech, go here.) Thanks for paving the way, Martin!

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On with my usual inanity (which is oddly fitting in a way). . . .

I had grand plans of writing a poem about Middle-earth for today’s post, but couldn’t get the rhyme scheme right. I’m not like Andy of City Jackdaw who crafts beautifully sculptured free verse or Charles of Legends of Windemere and Patty of Petite Magigue who love to challenge themselves with different types of poems (tanka, rondelet, haiku—you name it). So, I’m settling for prose.

Why was I thinking about a poem about Middle-earth of all places? Well, the other day, as I read an article in Game Informer magazine about a new videogame set in Middle-earth (Shadow of Mordor), I thought about life in Middle-earth. If I could be any of the beings in Middle-earth, which would I choose, if I could choose? (Slight spoilers follow.)

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As you know, Middle-earth is populated by many different groups: wizards (Istari/Maiar), elves, men, dwarves, hobbits, ents, huorns, orcs, goblins, and trolls, not to mention eagles, giant spiders, and wargs. If I rule out ents, huorns, orcs, goblins, trolls, eagles, giant spiders, and wargs, I’m left with the following choices: wizard, elf, human, dwarf, or hobbit. All have their pros and cons.

imagesOf the people groups, hobbits are the smallest in stature. Hobbits don’t have to wear shoes, because of their woolly feet. That’s a big plus for me, since I don’t like to wear shoes. Hobbits also love good food and drink. Another huge plus. But as awesome as Bag End looks on screen, I’m not sure I’d want to live there or any other hobbit hole permanently. I need more windows and more light.

The Maiar/Istari/wizards have tremendous power, which sometimes corrupts them (Saruman and Sauron, for instance). But they get to say cool things like, “Fly, you fools” and “Annon edhellen, edo hi ammen! Fennas nogothrim, lasto beth ammen!” (366 of The Fellowship of the Ring). The latter means, “’Gate of the Elves, open now for us! Doorway of the Dwarf-folk listen to the word of my tongue!” Lest you think, Wow, she’s awesome, ’cause she knows elvish, here is my source: http://www.arwen-undomiel.com/elvish/book.html. Wizards also wield a staff. I’d love a staff!

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The drawback of being a wizard is that some don’t have a settled place of residence and/or are often chased by orcs and other unpleasant creatures (looking at you, Gandalf). Or, they live in a fortress/tower that exudes evil because they’re megalomaniacs (looking at you, Sauron and Saruman). Radagast the Brown, however, seems very sweet, and his house is a haven for animals. But I wouldn’t relish the thought of hundreds of mice taking refuge in my house.

AragornMoving on to men (and women), they can be found in Dale, Bree, Gondor, Rohan, and many other places. There are many noble people in Middle-earth. For example, Théoden, Éowyn, Éomer, Faramir, the men of Númenor (including Aragorn, who smolders at the right), Bard, Beorn, and others. Éowyn, Faramir, and Théoden are among my favorite characters in The Lord of the Rings, so being human has its advantages. But not every human is noble. Some are jerks like the Master of Lake-town (The Hobbit) or sadly flawed like Boromir and Denethor (The Lord of the Rings).

The-Hobbit-FiliAccording to The Silmarillion, dwarves (like Fili here) were created by Aulë, one of the Valar. (For more on Aulë or the Valar, go here or here.) They’re exceptional smiths and miners. Dwarves are shorter than the men of Middle-earth, but taller than hobbits. I can relate to their reputation as fierce fighters, since I’ve had a few fights in my day. Unfortunately, dwarves like to live deep underground. A con for me.

King_Thranduil_portrait_-_EmpireMagElves, like men, were created by Eru Ilúvatar, the one God. Like the Istari, they are tall (a plus) and often lauded for their beauty and grace (another plus). They also have a killer wardrobe (triple plus), thanks to Peter Jackson’s movies, and are great warriors (bonus points). But elves can be pompous (looking at you, Thranduil [photo at the right]). Still, I wouldn’t mind living in the forest of Lothlórien, home of Galadriel (Elrond’s mother-in-law) and Celeborn. It’s a wondrous place, thanks to a special piece of jewelry worn by Galadriel.

IMG_7060Elrond is an interesting blend of elf and human, being the descendant of a human-elf pairing. He has the long lifespan of the elves and the understanding and compassion of the human existence (though he chose the immortal life). Best of all, he has an awesome house—Rivendell/Imladris—that owes its awesomeness to a certain item of jewelry Elrond has.

Turducken_easter06If I lived in Middle-earth, I’d prefer to be a Middle-earth version of turducken (photo at the right)—a combination of different groups. I would be an elf-human-hobbit—tall, beautiful, enigmatic, but with woolly feet. I’d live in Rivendell—the “last homely house” (51 of The Hobbit) and occasionally hang out in Hobbiton and Lothlórien. Best of all, Aragorn and Legolas would drop by for a visit. Hey, like Martin, I can dream too.

Tolkien, J. R. R. The Fellowship of the Ring. New York: Ballantine Books, 1955. Print.
__________. The Hobbit. New York: Ballantine Books, 1966. First published by George Allen & Unwin Ltd. in 1937. Print.
__________. The Silmarillion. London: George Allen & Unwin Ltd., 1977. Print.

Turducken photo from Wikipedia. Hugo Weaving as Elrond from somewhere online. Lee Pace as Thranduil from lotr.wikia.com. Ian McKellan as Gandalf from tolkienpedia.wikia.com. Martin Freeman as Bilbo movie poster from somewhere on the Internet. Dean O’Gorman as Fili from moviecultists.com. Viggo Mortensen as Aragorn from middleearthnews.com.

And the Winner Is . . .

Welcome back. I won’t make you wait this time. The winner of the $15 Amazon ecard to preorder The Very Nearly Honorable League of Pirates #1: Magic Marks the Spot by Caroline Carlson is . . .

Andy of City Jackdaw!!!!!

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Congratulations, Andy!

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Please comment with your email address below. Or, if you prefer a bit of privacy, you can email it to me at lmarie7b(at)gmail(dot)com. Since you’re in the UK, I will send you an ecard from Amazon UK. (The book is £10.99 there. :-))

Thanks to all who commented!

And now, if you’ll indulge me, I would like to announce another winner: me. I can’t help thinking of how smugly Gilderoy Lockhart said, “Allow me to introduce you to your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher: me” in the second Harry Potter movie. I don’t want to come across that way.

Kenneth Branagh as Professor Gilderoy Lockhart

The blog has been given the following awards by the wonderful Patty of Petite Magique:

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And by the delightful Elaine Jeremiah:
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I hope I’m not forgetting one. That’s the problem with procrastination! These awards were given ages ago, so I’m really sorry for not acknowledging them sooner. I’m humbled and honored by your kindness. I often doubt myself as a blogger, so your kind thoughts encourage me. I’m still thinking about nominees, so I’ll just say thank you for now. It’s great to be part of such a welcoming community.

And now, I’ll leave you with this photo that greatly delights me:

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Hello, Kitty!

Kenneth Branagh as Gilderoy Lockhart from fr.harrypotter.wikia.com. Cat from LOL Cats. Congrats image from free-extras.com.

And Now for Something Completely Different

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Another long overdue post, and one with a random photo of a speckled Sussex hen no less. Rest assured: this hen has absolutely nothing to do with what you’re about to read.

After my bitter diatribe the other day, it is with great irony that I announce the following award nominations. (I just learned of another recently that I’ll discuss in a later post. The following nominations were made awhile ago.)

The always wonderful and lovely Patty of Petite Magique nominated me for the Best Moment Award. Please pop over and say hi, then gaze at all of the awards she has won!

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The quiet but deeply awesome Shooken over at Shooken nominated me for . . . I know this is difficult to believe, but here goes . . . the Super Sweet Blog Award. Stop by there and see why Shooken earned this award and others.

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Thank you both very much. I enjoy your blogs. Being nominated is quite an honor. Sadly, these nominations will have to remain that—nominations—at least for now. This week is crunch time for me. I’ve got a few writing projects going, one of which involves a mini-deadline this week. Plus, like Marvel Entertainment, I’m gearing up for phase 2. Only in my case, I’m talking about phase 2 of the writer’s process interviews, one of which will be posted on Tuesday.

So, I’m beginning to feel like Fry here.

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But I wanted to take this opportunity to thank you both for this lovely gesture of appreciation. 🙂

Once again, thanks to all who read my blog and put up with random photos of chickens.

Hope everyone has a great Sunday and a wonderful Memorial Day (or a Happy Monday to those of you in other countries :-)). Please take time to remember loved ones who have passed on, and those who remain. And see Star Trek: Into Darkness if you can. It’s totally worth it.

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Hen photo from wikipedia.org.

Slow Your Roll

I don’t know about you, but I usually like to get where I’m going as fast as possible. Why drive a Civic if you can’t drive fast? Okay, I hear you mumbling out there, since I admitted in a previous post that I had a bad year when speeding tickets followed me like crows. (Yes, that was an oblique Lord of the Rings reference.) But that’s not important now. What is important is that I get where I’m going quickly.

Today was one of those days where I hit every red light. No matter how fast I sped up, I still couldn’t make the yellow. And even when I reached home and was about to turn in my driveway, there was a little kid, his thin, shaky legs pedaling a bike with training wheels. So, I sat watching him, realizing that this was God’s way of saying, “Slow your roll, girl.”

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Another way is through the wait for agents. Those of you on the search know the drill: you query and wait. And wait. And wait. And no amount of blowing or pacing will speed up the response. Trust me on this: I feel your pain. I’m in the middle of that myself.

Perhaps you’ll appreciate the irony of this: I was a manuscript reader for a publisher for almost nine years. (I won’t say which one, so please don’t ask.) Thousands of manuscripts arrived each year. As aslush pile reader, I had to weed through the dreams. With the publisher’s 98% rejection rate, I knew most of those dreams would be quashed until another querying session revived the flame again. (Believe me, saying no to someone is not easy. I never relished the task.)

Anyway, I’ve received a few rejections from agents in recent months. (Go on. Say it with me: “Slow your roll, girl.”) With each rejection, I had to take a step back and rework and cut and cry and try again.

As I considered the daunting task of reworking my WIP yet one more time, one stanza of a poem that I wrote for an exercise came to mind. Since you’re already here, I’ll share it with you, even if you run away screaming.

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To Hope
Keats talks of ethereal bursts of hope
And sky-bound drifts of inspiring thought.
I feel earth-bound, on a bus, dreaming of
Clear skies, blue and crisp like fresh washed sheets
and ice cream clouds on a picnic, scattered wide.

Slow your roll—what do the words mean to you? Like me, are you waiting for a response to your literary baby? Are you battling an illness? (I had my share last week.) Facing a decision that tempts you to leap before you look? Tempted to write an angry text or email that could have long-lasting repercussions?

You know what to do. Slow your roll.

P. S. I don’t think I properly thanked Patty at Petite Magique for nominating me for another Sunshine Award and Kristen Mazzola for nominating me for another Liebster Award. So kind!!! Thanks, Patty and Kristen. Had to slow my roll to remember to do that!!!

¡Feliz Cinco de Mayo!

Photo from thejanedough.com.

Spread a Little Sunshine

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Quick post to acknowledge the gracious nomination for the Sunshine Award by Patty at Petite Magique. Patty is a wonderful, multitalented artist. Stop by her blog and say hello and then ooo and ahh over her poetry, photos, etc. Since I would probably nominate some of the same blogs I nominated for Liebster, I’ll just say thanks for the nomination (which will remain a nomination since I haven’t nominated anyone else), but still share 10 things about myself as per the rules.

1. I LOVE to encourage people in any way I can. (Um, but this does not mean encouraging someone to go into a life of crime or quit school. Stay in school, kids!)
2. I have partial hearing loss in my right ear (since I was a child). But please don’t shout at me if you see me. I can hear you. Please note the word partial. 🙂
3. I like rollerblading, but I don’t do it enough.
4. When I was an undergrad, a friend told me, “Why don’t you major in something useful like biology?” (I majored in writing through the English department.)
5. I love discussing books with kids and teens.
6. I’m still grieving the loss of my betta fish, Sparkly Rose, that my well-meaning neighbors overfed. 😦 (By the way, a class of first and second graders chose the name Sparkly Rose. Isn’t that sweet???)
7. I would love to write a graphic novel.
8. I attended a grad school with some of the most talented people in the world. You’ll hear from one tomorrow about her new book (coming soon to a bookstore near you). Stay tuned. Same Bat time; same Bat channel.
9. I still wonder how my life would have changed had my sister lived. (She was stillborn the year before I was born.)
10. I have a wonderful supportive family (which includes the best in-laws a person can have).

Thanks again, Patty!