Guest Post: Interview by Sergeant Joe Friday

L. Marie here. A strange man calling himself Sergeant Joe Friday strong-armed me invited me to share this interrogation interview with the awesome John Howell. Enjoy!

I’m Sergeant Joe Friday. My partner is Frank Smith and I’m a cop. I was working the day watch in and around the county of Los Angeles. It came to my attention that one John W. Howell had finally left the safe confines of Texas and was due to arrive at Los Angeles International Airport this afternoon. Since Mr. Howell has long been on our list of persons of interest, we decided we needed to intercept him at the airport.

There we were standing around waiting for the arrival of the plane from Austin. My partner had gone to the snack bar for a coffee while I busied myself with the paper. Just as I was about to get to the score of last night’s double header, I spotted him. I signaled to Frank and we proceeded to catch him before he got outside.

“Excuse me, sir.”

“Yes? Can I help you?”

“My name is Friday. Sergeant Friday. This is my partner Mr. Smith. We would like to have a word if you don’t mind?”

“Uh. I’m afraid you have me at a disadvantage. What’s this all about?”

“We just have a few questions. We can step into the security lounge for a little privacy.”

“Is there a problem?”

“No problem sir unless you decide to make one. Now how about it?”

“I guess it will be alright. My rental car can wait.”

“Thank you, sir. Follow us.”

We went into the security lounge and sat at a big table. I asked Mr. Howell if he would like a coffee or water. He told me he was fine. Although we startled him at first, he did not seem nervous. I didn’t know what to make of that so I asked my first question.

“So, what brings you to LA, Mr. Howell?”

“I’m attending a book conference.”

“Book conference huh? What goes on there?”

“It is a gathering of authors. We set up a table and talk to readers.”

“Talk to readers? Is that all?”

“Yes. We also hope they buy a book, but usually just talk.”

“What is this talk about?”

“Well, you know—”

“No, I don’t know Mr. Howell. You tell me.”

“Um. Well, I describe my book and the reader asks questions.”

“I see. You want to comment on what those are saying about you.”

“Who is saying what?”

“They say you write thrillers.”

“I confess. I do.”

“Confess? Frank, take this down. So, you freely admit you write thrillers?”

“Yes, sir, I do.”

“I’m afraid I’m going to have to book you on a 416.”

“416? What’s that?”

“Unauthorized thrilling of readers.”

“Come on. They are the ones buying the books.”

“Maybe you are running some kind of mental persuasion scheme.”

“I hardly think so.”

“Well, before we take you downtown is there anything else you want to confess?”

“My last book was number one on Amazon.”

“Is that like a list of most wanted criminals?”

“Maybe most wanted books would be more accurate.”

“Describe the book for me.”

“Ahem. Well the title is The Contract.”

“Like in kill for hire?”

“No, no. The earth is under the threat of a catastrophic political event which could result in international warfare and destroy all life on the planet. In heaven, a divine council decides that extraordinary measures are essential. They call for an intervention that involves two souls returning to earth. The chosen two sign a contract that they will work to avert the disaster.”

“So, you are telling me your book is about heaven?”

“Well it is about how Heaven uses the Earth as a training ground.”

“So, you are saying there are aliens on Earth.”

“No. Brad Channing, a Navy SEAL, and Sarah O’Brien, a teacher, become heaven’s representatives on earth. The story follows them as they individually and then together face overwhelming obstacles and eventually end up on a strategic Air Force base in California. It is there that they discover a conspiracy to assassinate the President of the United States. The terrorists have a plan for global dominance, and they are determined to complete their mission.

“So where do you come in?”

“I am one of the authors.”

“Uh huh. And the other?”

“Gwen Plano. Author of Letting Go into Perfect Love.

  

“So, a partner in crime huh.”

“No, a collaborator.”

“How did that go for you?”

“It was a rewarding experience.

“Frank, put out an APB on Plano. . . . Anything else you want to say?”

“How about where readers can find me?”

“Other than in the big house you mean?”

“Yes.”

“Okay here’s what we have on you.”

Fiction Favorites Blog
John Howell Facebook
John Howell Twitter
Authors db
LinkedIn
Goodreads
Amazon Author’s page
Gwen’s blog

“Man, that is a lot of stuff.”

“How about a few photos?”

  

  

“Thanks.”

“Here is your rap sheet. I think you are in big trouble.”

John W, Howell began his writing as a full-time occupation after an extensive business career. His specialty is thriller fiction novels, but John also writes poetry and short stories. His first book, My GRL, introduces the exciting adventures of the book’s central character, John J. Cannon. The second Cannon novel, His Revenge, continues the adventure, while the final book in the trilogy, Our Justice, launched in September 2016. Circumstances of Childhood in October 1st. 2017. The latest, The Contract between heaven and earth, his fifth book, is written in collaboration with award-winning author Gwen Plano and was launched in June of 2018. All books are available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle editions.

John lives in Lakeway, Texas with his wife and their spoiled rescue pets.

Okay, I’m back. I’m giving away a copy of The Contract between heaven and earth to a commenter. You know what to do. Winner to be announced some time next week!

Author photos and covers courtesy of John Howell.

Guest Post: Things I Like by Henry

Today on the blog is Henry, a yeti who needs no introduction. Welcome, Henry.

L. Marie asked me to tell you about some of the things I like. . . . What’s that? . . . Okay, she said I needed to list at least 20 things. That shouldn’t be hard. I like a lot of things.

I like my friends. L. Marie is one of them. She thinks I’m upset because she asked Malik to do a guest post and not me. Maybe I was a little. But she asked me to do this one, so I’m not upset anymore.

Here are some of my other friends: Tuxedosam (penguin below), Olaf, Mint Kitty, and Bad to the Bone Kitty (in sunglasses). They like to talk. I am probably the quietest among them all. But that’s okay, because I like to listen.

 

Malik you know. I’m not sure he thinks of me as his friend (his friends are popular and shiny and often say things I don’t understand), but I think of him as mine. I used to want to be like him. But now that I think about it, I like being me. Just Henry.

  

Oh, and I just made a new friend.

Henry and newfound friend—the lamb’s head

L. Marie said that I’ve only named one thing so far. The seven friends I named go with the statement I like my friends. So here are more things:

•  Snow
•  Rocks


•  Whales
•  Candy


•  Cinnamon rolls
•  Birds
•  Flowers


•  Hope
•  Sunrises

Though that’s only seven things, L. Marie said she wants me to explain why hope is one of the things I like.

Hope is like a sunrise. At first, there’s just a little bit of light on the horizon. That’s what hope is like—a little bit of light you hold in your heart when everything is dark and you’re not sure how it will all turn out. It’s like when L. Marie asked Malik to guest post but didn’t ask me. I still hoped that she would ask me eventually. And she did, so everything turned out okay.

What’s that? . . . Oh. . . . L. Marie said two things: (1) She wants me to stop telling you about the Malik guest post, which she canceled anyway. And (2) she’s okay that I didn’t name 20 things. She’s satisfied with what I named. But she wants me to ask you what you like. If you feel like it, you can say what you like below.

Thanks, Henry.

P.S. Thoughts and prayers are with the families of the victims in the New Zealand shootings. Here’s what I would like—for something like this to never happen again.

Photos by L. Marie. Tuxedosam is a character by Sanrio. Mint Kitty and Bad to the Bone Kitty are from the Pusheen Cats line of products that do not actually bear those names. Pusheen the Cat was created by Claire Belton and Andrew Duff. Olaf is a character created by Jennifer Lee and Chris Buck for the Frozen line of movies. Rocks are from the Rock Garden at Highlights in Honesdale, PA.

Guest Post: Remember Me? The Triumphant Return of Kitty

While I continue working on a project I’m writing under a different name (long story), here is a guest post. Over the years, I’ve had guest posts from some fabulous writers. But this is the first time, I’ve been coerced into invited an individual who is neither a writer nor a humanitarian. I don’t know what she is, really. A self-proclaimed megalomaniac? A deceptively adorable individual with a cupcake and an evil plan? A—

Okay, enough of L. Marie’s inane babbling. If the Incredibles can return to the silver screen, then of course, I can return to this blog—pitiful platform though it may be.

Where have I been? you might ask. I know I haven’t been seen since my photo showed up in this blog post. Not that I had a choice—L. Marie stuck her phone in my face without even asking if I wanted my photo taken.

I’ve hijacked this blog to explain what I’ve been up to: mainly hiring lackeys to enact my plan for world domination. As for lackeys, you take what you can get. And the pickings are slim. Look at them.

You can’t get good help these days, especially when your budget is low. But I think I can make something out of this crew. I don’t mean to brag, but people have remarked on how good I am as a leader.

Good? Hmmph. The fools! They underestimate my genius!

“Why don’t you make something of your life? Why turn to evil?” I’m often asked. To which I reply with silence. I don’t have to answer every silly question. Just know that the world will once again cower in fear when I unleash my lackeys.

Sure, they look friendly.

   

Apple Blossom (photo at right) was not available on the day the lackey group photo above was taken.

Some of them look downright helpless and foolish.

But a smile can hide an unlikely villain. With the right person to train him or her, a smile can be as deadly as a blade.

I’m suddenly reminded of what the Mandarin, a man I greatly admire, said in Iron Man 3, “You’ll never see me coming.” And that’s why—

L. Marie here, having wrested control of this blog once more. Please ignore what you just read. The police have been called, though Kitty unfortunately escaped with some of my loose change. Oh well. I’m fairly certain we’ve seen the last of her.

Maybe.

Sir Ben Kingsley as the Mandarin photo from flickeringmyth.com. Other photos by L. Marie. Shopkins, Shopkins Cutie Car and Lemony Limes Shoppie doll were manufactured by Moose Toys. Hello Kitty was made for McDonald’s by Sanrio. LOL baby by MGA Entertainment.