Kitty Wants Out

See? She has candy. She knows how to celebrate the season.

She also has a T-Rex. There’s time to run though. He’s not finished (still being sewn).

Every once in a while, I feel pressured great joy to cover the antics of Kitty, even after forgiving her time after time for stealing the loose change out of my wallet. (Though how she managed to do that while carrying that cupcake in her two hands is something for the Guinness Book of Records I guess.) Even now, she’s not really doing anything worth mentioning. Just standing there on the desk staring at me. I don’t know if that means she’s plotting mischief or taking a break.

My bad. She’s saying something.

Kitty: I’m bored. Need to get out of the house. So, how do I muscle in on this Halloween thing?
Me (staring blankly at her): What do you mean?
Kitty: Halloween. How do I profit by it?
Me: There’s no profit to be made. You pass out candy to kids or to adults who show up in costume at your door. That’s it.
Kitty: Easy peasy. I’ll just make candy. Get me some construction paper and I’ll draw some to give out.
Me: You have to give real candy! Otherwise people will come after you with tar and pitchforks. (Under my breath) You should be used to that treatment by now.
Kitty: Did you say something?
Me (innocent): Me? No.
Kitty (sounding menacing, though standing there with a cupcake kinda renders this moot): I didn’t think so.
Me (trying to be helpful): You can get a bag of candy at the store for $2.99.
Kitty (light bulb): Ah. Get several bags. We can sell ’em to your neighbors for $17.50 a bag.
Me (knowing the futility of explaining to her that no one in his or her right mind would pay almost six times the price for a bag of candy that he/she could get at the store for $2.99): I see where you’re going with that.
Kitty (gleefully rubbing her hands while still holding on to that cupcake): I’ll make a fortune. Run along to the store now. We’ll be grifting in no time.

Sigh. Of course, you know this scheme is doomed. As a probable aftermath, I can’t help thinking:

Better get used to these bars, kid.

(If you know what movie this line is from, please tell me in the comments. [I already know the movie, BTW.])

Have a happy and safe Halloween.

On a more sobering note: Thinking about and praying for the families of the victims of the recent Pittsburgh shooting. As you grieve, know that others are grieving with you.

Photos by L. Marie.

28 thoughts on “Kitty Wants Out

  1. The idea of Miss Kitty sounding menacing while holding a cupcake is so funny! Yes, your readers do like to hear from Miss Kitty. And I appreciate very much your thoughts at the end of your post. I wonder how much more can our hearts break.

  2. “Back to the Future”?

    Our city just held the public memorial service at the civic center for the second deputy who died from gunshot wounds in the Florence shootings. On our way to church, we passed several intersections with firetruck arches that lead the way to the venue. Just a few hours before the service started, the parking lot was 3/4 full. On our way back from church, the surrounding merchant parking lots were packed out as well.
    https://www.thedailystar.com/cnhi_network/south-carolina-mass-shooting-slain-deputy-mourned/article_8bbe95c6-0f08-5137-88ab-5905fe2d5488.html
    RIP -Sister Farrah (and brother Carraway)

    May His peace wash over those newly affected by such senseless killings in Pittsburgh.
    Thanks, L. Marie for letting me send this. I can’t face the blank page of a blog post to write much more on these – from Columbine to Sandy Hook to Manchester to Florence to Pittsburgh to where next?

    • You are correct! It is Back to the Future!

      I’m glad you posted that, Laura. How absolutely devastating! The pictures just make me cry.

      I am praying for an end to this horrible gun violence. Enough is enough!

      Yes, may those affected know His peace.

  3. Have a happy Halloween too. Maybe the cupcake is a mechanical device with multiple uses. Weaponry for intimidation and a magnet to get change? Nobody would suspect a cupcake of such devilry. I’m still shaken by what happened in Pittsburgh, especially since I’ve seen a disturbing rise in antisemitism for the last two years. The world is getting scarier by the day.

    • Maybe you’re right about the cupcake. No wonder she carries it. Probably needs a permit for it. I’m doubting she has one.

      I feel sad and very angry about what happened in Pittsburgh. No one should have to fear entering a house of worship. This needs to stop!!!

      • She might have a fake permit. Either that or a stolen one that is covered in ‘tomato sauce’. I agree that this really needs to stop. Have a bad feeling that it won’t happen any time soon though.

  4. Miss Kitty is Missing the Point . . . 😆

    Nothing is going to change. We’re all going to die horrible deaths from global warming, hurricanes, earthquakes, mudslides, mass shootings, the black plague, wildfires, the flu, TB, and . . . zombies, witches, and warlocks.

    Happy Halloween. Watch out for masked madmen.

  5. Kitty missed the point. The real point of Halloween is the costumes. At least that’s the way it looks to me. People really love to dress up. The costumes just get better and better. Since we never get trick-or-treaters, I like to go down to Main Street where people in costumes are parading around and occasionally stopping for candy.

    • The costumes are fun! I wish Kitty realized that. Maybe she will someday.

      I love seeing the costumes. In Naperville, people and their dogs dress up. That’s fun to see.

    • Thanks, Marian! Yes Back to the Future is such a classic!

      Now that the actual day of passing out candy has arrived, I hope Kitty will behave. (Doubtful that she will.)

  6. It’s from Back to the Future, right? I didn’t cheat and read the comments. I actually knew the answer all by myself. Quite a feat for a woman who’s lukewarm about movies.

  7. 4 days later – I just don’t know where my time is flying to lately, L. Marie. Forgive me – and I’ll try to forgive Miss Kitty’s antics. tee hee
    In our 12 years of living here on the Cutoff, we have only had 3 trick-or-treaters, 2 of which came on Halloween. Even the boys next door, when they were young, went to different neighborhoods. Our properties here are deep and not well lit. I don’t blame the kids – they can hit 4 or 6 house instead of just one, still, Tom and I were surprised when the doorbell rang. 🙂
    I have been filled with such sadness over the shootings in Pittsburg and continue to pray.

    • I’m glad you had at least those three tricker or treaters. I went to the home of some friends who have young children. They had a lot of trick or treaters because of the sheer volume of children in the neighborhood.

      I continue to pray for that synagogue too. 😥 May peace reign.

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