Guest Post: Remember Me? The Triumphant Return of Kitty

While I continue working on a project I’m writing under a different name (long story), here is a guest post. Over the years, I’ve had guest posts from some fabulous writers. But this is the first time, I’ve been coerced into invited an individual who is neither a writer nor a humanitarian. I don’t know what she is, really. A self-proclaimed megalomaniac? A deceptively adorable individual with a cupcake and an evil plan? A—

Okay, enough of L. Marie’s inane babbling. If the Incredibles can return to the silver screen, then of course, I can return to this blog—pitiful platform though it may be.

Where have I been? you might ask. I know I haven’t been seen since my photo showed up in this blog post. Not that I had a choice—L. Marie stuck her phone in my face without even asking if I wanted my photo taken.

I’ve hijacked this blog to explain what I’ve been up to: mainly hiring lackeys to enact my plan for world domination. As for lackeys, you take what you can get. And the pickings are slim. Look at them.

You can’t get good help these days, especially when your budget is low. But I think I can make something out of this crew. I don’t mean to brag, but people have remarked on how good I am as a leader.

Good? Hmmph. The fools! They underestimate my genius!

“Why don’t you make something of your life? Why turn to evil?” I’m often asked. To which I reply with silence. I don’t have to answer every silly question. Just know that the world will once again cower in fear when I unleash my lackeys.

Sure, they look friendly.

   

Apple Blossom (photo at right) was not available on the day the lackey group photo above was taken.

Some of them look downright helpless and foolish.

But a smile can hide an unlikely villain. With the right person to train him or her, a smile can be as deadly as a blade.

I’m suddenly reminded of what the Mandarin, a man I greatly admire, said in Iron Man 3, “You’ll never see me coming.” And that’s why—

L. Marie here, having wrested control of this blog once more. Please ignore what you just read. The police have been called, though Kitty unfortunately escaped with some of my loose change. Oh well. I’m fairly certain we’ve seen the last of her.

Maybe.

Sir Ben Kingsley as the Mandarin photo from flickeringmyth.com. Other photos by L. Marie. Shopkins, Shopkins Cutie Car and Lemony Limes Shoppie doll were manufactured by Moose Toys. Hello Kitty was made for McDonald’s by Sanrio. LOL baby by MGA Entertainment.

31 thoughts on “Guest Post: Remember Me? The Triumphant Return of Kitty

  1. I can’t help it, but the Pinky and the Brain song kept resounding in my head whilst (funny British word, yes?) reading Kitty’s inner thoughts…are they comrades or mortal enemies, I wonder…
    Pinky and the Brain…one is a genius, the other is insane…gee, Brain what do you want to do tonight?…the same thing we do every night, Pinky: try to take over the world!!!!!

    • I love Pinky and the Brain, Laura! I used to watch it faithfully. So of course, I also had that show in mind when I first thought of Kitty as a criminal mastermind. 😀 And I thought of you, since you had Kitty in your brownie circle. 😀

      • I’ll bet our Manc Bud never had the hilarious pleasure of experiencing Pinky and the Brain…but with youtube, maybe he can catch up like I’m catching up with you two on the Dr.!!!
        😉

    • He’s coming in the next saga, which will involve Kitty on the lam. I thought this post would be too crowded with her old lackey. But good on you for bringing him up, especially since you gave him to me.

  2. Pingback: Kitty on the Lam or: How a Tiny Car Is Not the Best Bet for a Getaway | El Space–The Blog of L. Marie

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