You’re a Mean One, Miss Kitty

The following poem is my version of Clement C. Moore’s classic poem, with a bit of inspiration from How the Grinch Stole Christmas! by Dr. Seuss. It explains what Kitty’s been up to lately, which I’ve hinted at a couple of times. (Yes, I know this is more appropriate for Christmas Eve. But you don’t want to wait that long, do you?) So, if you stopped by to learn who won the books in the latest giveaways (click here and here for the author interviews), check the end of the poem.

’Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, save Kitty—that louse!

While the children drew close to the warm fireplace,
Kitty took herself up the stairs to rob the place.

img_3955  img_3959

But a child crept upstairs to observe her at work.
Yet Kitty heard her creeping, and turned with a jerk.

“Are you Santa Claus?” asked the sweet little tike.
“I’d like a Nintendo, and some kind of bike.”

“A Nintendo what?” asked the grumpy fake Nick.
“Nintendo’s a company. Please be specific.”

img_3963

“You’re not St. Nick!” cried the suddenly wise child.
“You’re grumpy and harsh; he’s sweet and warm and mild.”

“He sounds like a hot drink,” the would-be thief sneered.
“Take my advice. This Santa Claus? Well, he sounds weird.”

Kitty shooed the child off with a ten-dollar bill.
She returned to the sack she had hastened to fill.

But suddenly outside, there arose such a clatter.
To the window she raced. What on earth was the matter?

Sirens squealed in the distance—what a kerfuffle!
The window was shut; but the noise would not muffle.

She would be caught with the stuff she had stolen.
What could she say about a large sack so swollen?

So, she threw off the disguise, and then she made haste
Down the stairs with her usual cupcake at her waist.

“Oh children,” she said, “I’m a neighbor so near
I stepped through the window to visit you here.”

The child with the ten, not a word did she say.
She felt keeping mum made life better that way.

So, they gave Kitty cocoa and showed her a chair.
And soon, Kitty realized, she was better off there.

img_3965

Now let’s turn from a larcenous “Santa” to the winners of the books. As a reminder, I am giving away a copy of How to Share with a Bear and How to Build a Snow Bear by Eric Pinder, as well as Hard to Die by Andra Watkins and Our Justice by John Howell.

23310702  27414457

hard-to-die  31820291

The winner of Eric Pinder’s picture books is . . .
Is . . .

Is . . .

Is . . .

Jennie!

The winner of How to Die and Our Justice is . . .
Is . . .

Is . . .

Is . . .

Andy!

Winners, please confirm below. Jennie, please email your snail mail information and phone number to lmarie7b(at)gmail(dot)com. (Amazon will not deliver without a phone number.) Andy, when you email, please include the email address you use with Amazon.uk. I believe you can only get the Kindle versions of Hard to Die and Our Justice through Amazon.uk. Hope that is okay.

Thank you to all who commented!

Book covers from Goodreads. Photos by L. Marie. The Happy Places Shopkins Happy Home is a registered trademark of Moose Toys. Hello Kitty is a registered trademark of Sanrio Co., Ltd.

Advertisements

53 thoughts on “You’re a Mean One, Miss Kitty

    • Glad to hear it! 😀 One of my neighbors decided to blast Mariah’s Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas Is You” this morning. Perhaps that will add to the festivities. 😀

  1. Miss Kitty! I knew she was up to no good. 🙂 At least the child was ahead by $10. Fun way to start my day, L. Marie – and now it is time for me to take out my many Christmas books. There really is a child hidden inside of me. Stay warm.

    Congrats to the book winners.

    • Ooo. I need to get mine out too. This is a good time for a Christmas novella.
      I hope you’re keeping warm and your car is starting okay. I went out to start mine, and was grateful that it did.

      • Just hauled up the first pile of books – mostly children’s, which I started collecting when the girls were young and never stopped. The first book I always read as Christmas nears is “One Christmas” by Truman Capote.

        As I type, there are four deer ambling down our driveway, which Tom was nice enough to plow for them. They don’t seem to be very cold – but I am. I’m glad your car started in the frigid cold. You may want to start it again tonight. Ours did start, but, the furnace went on the fritz the night before last. Fortunately, our neighbor is in the heating/air conditioning business and came over to help Tom fix it. Always something. 🙂

      • I have a dinner to go to, so I’m hoping it will start.
        So sorry about your furnace. I’m glad you got it fixed!! You need it today!

  2. Oh I am so happy for Jennie…such a perfect match for those books. And I’m sure Andrew will enjoy his cache for dark, winter, Manchester-ian reading!

    BTW: I would love to learn how to muffle a kerfuffle! 🙂

  3. Fun poem! Loved these lines’s, especially the likening of that fat jolly elf to a hot drink:

    “A Nintendo what?” asked the grumpy fake Nick.
    “Nintendo’s a company. Please be specific.”

    “You’re not St. Nick!” cried the suddenly wise child.
    “You’re grumpy and harsh; he’s sweet and warm and mild.”

    “He sounds like a hot drink,” the would-be thief sneered.
    “Take my advice. This Santa Claus? Well, he sounds weird.”

      • Thanks, Marie!

        I’m undecided about sending the tree
        I’ve been looking around for Plan B
        Hoping to find a little something
        For someone who has everything

        Then Tippy Gnu pointed out the futility
        (And corresponding imbecility)
        Of buying a little something
        For someone who has everything

        So I might cross that “To Do” off my list. 😀

  4. Hahahaha!! Brilliant! This verse…

    “Are you Santa Claus?” asked the sweet little tike.
    “I’d like a Nintendo, and some kind of bike.”

    …just sums up the whole spirit of Christmas…!! 😉

    • Thank you, FF. 🙂 Ha! Sad to say, yes, it totally does. I continue to see haggard-looking parents racing about shopping for toys that kids will play with for 59 seconds on Christmas.

  5. I love the poem! Here in my neighborhood, there’s this custom called SantaCon, which takes place two or three Saturdays before Christmas. Party animals dress up as Santa and go from bar to bar, committing many forms of mayhem along the way. It’s especially tough for parents who have to explain something to the little ones pointing at the drunks and saying, “There’s Santa! There’s Santa! And there’s another Santa!”

  6. What a cute Christmas poem! One of my favorite lines about the “larcenous Santa:” “Sirens squealed in the distance—what a kerfuffle!”

  7. Thank you so very much L Marie. I am honored to win this book. It will be well read in my classroom. 🙂

    **I deleted your address from your comment.** L. Marie. 🙂

  8. Linda, you are SO talented … poet, set designer, story teller! From your pictures, I think your place must be magical … although Miss Kitty is a bit this side of evil 😉 But then, if she can be tamed with a cup of hot chocolate, maybe she’s not as mean as she wants us to think 😉

Your Turn to Talk

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s